The Ballad of Cap'n Sandy

Do the Cap'n Sandy dance wear the Cap'n Sandy Pants
Listen while he raves and rants he's Cap'n Fucking Sandy
Cap'n Sandy lives alone, works alone, sleeps alone
Listen to him bitch and moan he's Cap'n Fucking Sandy
Hand me down my shiny boots my dear
Captain Sandy drinks his weight in beer
When Cap'n Sandy takes a bow no one applauds
They don't know how
He dreams of scuttling the scow
He's Cap'n Sandy

Oh where oh where's the skipper been? His grip on things is loosening
And what's behind the toothless grin of Captain Fucking Sandy?
Cap'n Sandy's at the wharf he's drinking with his favorite dwarf
Run and see the sane man morph into Captain Fucking Sandy!
Aaargh! He doth command a crew of One
Bit by bit the Captain's come undone Oh!
Why does Cap'n Sandy drool?
He failed mouseketeering school
Face down in the swimming pool is Captain Fucking Sandy

Walk the plank! Skip the rope!
I'll keelhaul the lot of y'all!

Oh Mick and Min and all the gang all came down to see him hang
Who was it in the crowd that sang "It's Captain Fucking Sandy"?
He was lifted from the noose He grabbed his Captain Sandy boots
Lock your doors--he's on the loose It's Captain Fucking Sandy
Drink your troubles by the cup my friends
Captain Sandy breaks before he bends

Captain Sandy disappeared he's gone they say with all his gear
But sailor's hearts still know the fear of Captain Fucking Sandy